Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Gratitude 14 & 15

This is harder to do than one might think.  I find myself looking back throughout the day to figure out what can I publicly declare my gratitude for and judging things that come to mind.  Or maybe thinking others might judge me.  Hmm.

Do I want to break down into tiny details why I'm grateful for something?  Sometimes.  Should I?  Maybe.  Probably.  Yes.

14:  I kept thinking about my oldest child's birthday which was on gratitude day 15.  Perfectionism was preventing me from saying anything about it on day 14.  If I get into some deeper thoughts on this I really am grateful my body was able to carry his body through the growth and development it had to do.  The external stretch marks are not that big of a deal.  Do I feel gratitude for them?  No.  What they end up being is a reminder of my children and sometimes a little poetic waxing of what once was.  I'm not so grateful for the internal stretching that took place and isn't really talked about.  ((shrug inserted here))  What can I do about it?  Physical therapy, surgery, nothing.  I'll use that another day.

15:  The day of my first born's birth.  I am deeply grateful for this person in my life.  He challenges me more than I thought possible.  I will fight for him when there's injustice and hold him accountable for his own misdeeds.  He's been the one I've "fessed up to" in my own shortcomings.  An attempt to let him know I'm not perfect and don't expect that from him.  He's made me a better person, and for that I feel gratitude.

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